i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You have to summon your inner elephant
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
