First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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