We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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