btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
