the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
