My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
