I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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