No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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