You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
