then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
