my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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