It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
