She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
