i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
