Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
