Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
