Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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