Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
