bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
