I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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