I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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