Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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