chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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