Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
