Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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