he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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