there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
