I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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