So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He did a backflip because drugs
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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