I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Couch. On fire.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
