fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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