Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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