i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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