yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
