So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
