Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
