guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
