but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
