It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
