Ambien. No doubt about it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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