So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
