who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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