im six kinds of drunk right now
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
