The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
