38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
