Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
