god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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