When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
