Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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