I think I just saw someone hide a body.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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