I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
